Extracts
“ The Bible puts women in two categories, virtuous and non-virtuous. Both can and will marry. However, under the Christian umbrella the virtuous women will fare better; she will want to do and live God’s word, guaranteeing a successful marriage...marriage is not a 50/50 proposition which is the world’s position vis-a-vis the Christians. Ironically, the wife will receive 100% of the benefits by simply adhering to God’s directions in His Word. In this chapter we are dealing with the premarital stage where you have the opportunity to be prayerful, pensive and objectively observant.” ...Continued
Chapter 5
Sex Part II
[ADDENDUM]
Libido is a person’s overall sexual drive or desire for sexual activity. Libido is influenced by biological, psychological and social factors. Sex hormones such as testosterone and estrogen regulate libido in humans. Primarily testosterone in males and some in females and estrogen in women. The testosterone in females is produced by the ovaries in small amounts. Combined with estrogen the female testosterone helps with the growth, maintenance and repair of a woman’s reproductive tissues. Bone mass and human behavior testosterone is mainly produced in men by the testicles. It affects the man’s appearance and sexual development. It stimulates sperm production as well as a man’s sex drive. Components of testosterone are aggression and competition. Testosterone levels determine the level of sexual interest. For the sake of our discussion we will look at three levels of testosterone: low level testosterone, average level testosterone, and high level testosterone. Multiple studies have shown men who are high level are more likely to engage in extra marital sex. One study had shown a direct correlation between high level testosterone and dominance, especially among the most violent criminals in prison.
High level testosterone is highly desirable in the area of competition. Pick any sport. Here is where society accepts this abnormality. The transferring of this sexual energy is referred to as sublimation. I think it’s fair to say all champions, male or female have high level testosterone. On the sexual end, sometimes it gets them in trouble. We have to recognize an important narrative here introduced by Hoebel who after extensive research and tests concluded that, “Man is born with polygamous proclivities.”
Michael Jordan was married for over 16 years before his wife expected the alleged dozen of affairs leading to divorce. Wilt Chamberlain played it safe and stayed single knowing his appetite for several hundred women a year was his norm. Among modern history United States Presidents I can think of no more trusting and moving dedication for husband and wife fidelity than Harry S Truman and his wife Elizabeth. Yet by stark contrast his successor Dwight D Eisenhower had Kay in the background of his marriage. This was common knowledge to his inner circle. This phenomenon i.e., Hoebel’s assertion, has existed with Presidents, high profile sports and entertainment figures as well as the average everyday man since time began. There has not been a year since President Truman (1950s) where a high profile divorce or proceeding hasn’t surfaced as a result of this phenomenon. We will review some biblical examples further on in the chapter. But first, some basics. Fertility is one of the major differences between men and women. On one hand, men are continuously fertile from puberty to a hundred years of age even though by that time they are physically unable to engage in sexual activities. Their sperms are still viable but poor in quality. Men are fertile this long because there is a continuous production of sperms through the process called spermatogenesis.
Women on the other hand are fertile for 12 hours each month from menarche up until they are in their 50s when menopause begins for most women. Fertility for them are limited because they have a set number of eggs. At this stage sexual changes are imminent. Vaginal dryness and a loss of sex drive is common. Usually sex is not enjoyed as much and reaching orgasms become more difficult. As long as it isn’t painful regular sexual activity may help keep the vagina healthy by promoting blood flow. In this stage of menopause ovaries have stopped sending out the required number of eggs to allow pregnancy. However in every generation a miracle baby happens. As far as diminished sex drive at this stage, there are always exceptions to every rule. In my private practice I had seen three women, two in their 80s and one in their 90s that were sexually active with their respective husbands.
Birds do it, bees do it, and men do it any old time. But women will only do it if the candles are scented just right—and their partner has done the dishes first. A stereotype, sure, but is it true? Do men really have stronger sex drives than women? Well, yes, they do. Study after study shows that men’s sex drives are not only stronger than women’s, but much more straightforward the sources of women’s libido, by contrast are much harder to pin down. It’s common wisdom that women place more value on emotional connection as a spark of sexual desire.
But women also appear to be heavily influenced by social and cultural factors as well. According to Edwin O Laumann PhD, a professor of Sociology at the University of Chicago, the majority of adult men under 60 think about sex at least once a day. Only ¼ of women say that they think about it that frequently. As men and women age, each fantasizes less, but men still fantasize twice as often.